Bridesmaids (344 Days to Go)

So I'm currently attempting to try and gather a majority of my bridesmaids together for a bridesmaid luncheon and to go shopping for dresses.  Yes, it's early.  But some of them are students, currently unemployed, etc. etc. such that I figure if we go now, then there's time to sit back, stash up the cash, wait for a sale, and all of that good stuff.  But by going and picking a dress now, I can end a few more annoying conversations and scratch one more thing off my list as far as stress inducers.

Sometimes I feel as much as I try to be cooperative and easy going on the girls, the harder things become on me because Jeff and I's mothers are old-fashioned about how the bridesmaids should be dressed.  Back in the 80s when they were getting wed, bridesmaids wore heinous, matchy-matchy dresses.  Now, today the trend is leaning much more towards the bridesmaids wearing whatever style best suits them in a general colorway.  But because we have a rainbow bridal party, I have more pressure being put on me to force them all into the same style dress.  Essentially, if I don't, I can look forward to a minimum of five years of complaining everytime the wedding pictures are looked at.  

Compound into that, both of our mothers feel that the Mothers' dresses are just too "matronly" and "old" for them.  Certainly at fifty they aren't so old that they can't wear something from the bridesmaid dress rack, right?  I guess they're trying to cope with the fact that they're old enough to have children getting married in their own way.  So, if I let the bridesmaids pick what they want, and being all different colors, I'm going to end up with the mothers and maids blending together with nothing but a few wrinkles to tell the difference.  And why yes, I've made a relatively obvious suggestion that the mothers wear a patterned dress and the maids were solids.  Nada in the cooperation department.  This is when I start wanting to bang my head on my desk, which is metal by the way.  And yes, they're insisting on wearing the same material too.  These are stubborn women, I tell you.  Nothing can ever persuade them to get off a subject until it's too late to have much more effect, but then you can still look forward to some disheartened griping that they were ignored in the decision making process.  Toss into the mix, the junior bridesmaid (aka mini bridezilla, aka MBZ) who wants to wear my wedding gown and have a date to walk her down the aisle and I've got one heck of a pot boiling over.  And seriously, it's all over what people are going to wear?  I suddenly understand the appeal of the nudist wedding.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to dictate the fashion choices of my mom and FMIL, however, I don't appreciate that they're dictating the fashion of my bridesmaids.  I mean seriously, when does that ever go well?  Because all it does is then complicate the issue of making them happy all the more.  And boy, do I get tired of hearing and phrase that starts with the word "Just".  "Just" is someone's way of making things sound easy.  As in "Just do it", "Just say no", etc., etc.  Or my personal favorite: "That just doesn't make sense."  Please, if the word "just" ever comes out of my mouth, slap me silly.  I deserve it.



Henkaa
Convertible Dresses



But I did come up with a third option that will set my girls apart, let them be individuals, make them identical for the ceremony and pictures and silence the mothers.  Now, if I can only get the girls to go along with it.  It's convertible dresses.  I figure, they agree on one of fifty some styles for the ceremony and pictures, and when we duck away somewhere to bustle my train before entering the reception, they can reconfigure their dress into any style they want.  That way they get to feel like they got to completely change dresses between ceremony and reception.  It's a win-win...at least for me.  I just hope the girls will see it that way too.

I ordered one of the dresses for myself to wear as a bridesmaid in Becca's wedding.  They're supposed to be one size fits most, so I figure the girls can play with mine and see if they like it when we get together later this month.  I'm crossing my fingers.  I really need to start nailing down details and therefore nailing problems to the wall.

Possible Bridesmaids Gifts (425 Days to Go)

Frenzy Shark

So as I mentioned yesterday, I had contemplated giving each of my bridesmaids a silver pendant from a jewelry line carried in my fiance's store.  Well, I'm still contemplating different options.  Even though I can really see my one MOH, Kansas, loving that I'd give her the shark.

Pretty in Pink, Absolut-ly

There are also other options that are a tiny bit overused but still quite amusing.  Such as pink hip flasks.  This would be a fantastic idea as a little toss in gift to be included with something else, except for the fact that two of my bridesmaids would be anything but amused.  One doesn't drink hardly ever and the other one is actually allergic to alcohol.  Other used and abused ideas are monogrammed tote bags and luggage pieces and heart pendant jewelry.  I'd like to get away from trite if at all possible but I would also like for my gift to not scream "I got his from Jeff and Alyssa's wedding."  So how does a bride find the perfect gift for her six bridesmaid (and one junior bridesmaid) without breaking her bank and without it looking like I bought the first thing I saw on mybridesmaidsgift.com?  Why yes, there really is a site called that.

The other day when I was cruising the internet and the various wedding websites, I cannot remember who it was that featured this particular handbag designer, but Sara Lloyd makes beautiful clutches and is apparently becoming quite popular for bridesmaid gifts.  And why not?  She offers to work with a bride in order to customize the colors and patterns in order to coordinate the set to the wedding colors and also to the individual tastes of the bridesmaids.  And each clutch is accented with a beautiful brooch.  Sara collects all of her materials from markets and through refurbishing materials in order to guarantee that the bag you buy from her is a one of a kind piece of art that won't be found anywhere else.  For now, they only places you can find her bags are on her website and also in a small boutique in Athens, GA near where Sara grew up.  But for now, all of the bags are made by Sara's own hands out of her NYC apartment as she works to build the reputation of her label.

Well, after seeing Sara's bags, I was reminded of a brand that my mother carries in her store.  Offhand Designs is a cooperative out of Oakland, California and all of the bags are handmade in order to ensure the uniqueness of each piece.  The materials are always luscious: velvets, brocades, and now leathers.  Larisa Snydal does a fantastic job of creating designs that are functional for the average woman but also for the avid knitter.  It's great to be able to take a purse and reorganize it into a knitting bag on the fly and in the reverse too.

Mom has always had a good relationship with the company and so I've contemplated bringing up the idea to her to see if we could get a set of them specially ordered in colors and materials that would suit the wedding and  my girls.  I'll have to keep this idea on the backburner of my brain for now.  But for those of you interested in seeing these bags in person, there are many distributors spread out across the country and you can find them here.