Sometimes I feel as much as I try to be cooperative and easy going on the girls, the harder things become on me because Jeff and I's mothers are old-fashioned about how the bridesmaids should be dressed. Back in the 80s when they were getting wed, bridesmaids wore heinous, matchy-matchy dresses. Now, today the trend is leaning much more towards the bridesmaids wearing whatever style best suits them in a general colorway. But because we have a rainbow bridal party, I have more pressure being put on me to force them all into the same style dress. Essentially, if I don't, I can look forward to a minimum of five years of complaining everytime the wedding pictures are looked at.
Compound into that, both of our mothers feel that the Mothers' dresses are just too "matronly" and "old" for them. Certainly at fifty they aren't so old that they can't wear something from the bridesmaid dress rack, right? I guess they're trying to cope with the fact that they're old enough to have children getting married in their own way. So, if I let the bridesmaids pick what they want, and being all different colors, I'm going to end up with the mothers and maids blending together with nothing but a few wrinkles to tell the difference. And why yes, I've made a relatively obvious suggestion that the mothers wear a patterned dress and the maids were solids. Nada in the cooperation department. This is when I start wanting to bang my head on my desk, which is metal by the way. And yes, they're insisting on wearing the same material too. These are stubborn women, I tell you. Nothing can ever persuade them to get off a subject until it's too late to have much more effect, but then you can still look forward to some disheartened griping that they were ignored in the decision making process. Toss into the mix, the junior bridesmaid (aka mini bridezilla, aka MBZ) who wants to wear my wedding gown and have a date to walk her down the aisle and I've got one heck of a pot boiling over. And seriously, it's all over what people are going to wear? I suddenly understand the appeal of the nudist wedding.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to dictate the fashion choices of my mom and FMIL, however, I don't appreciate that they're dictating the fashion of my bridesmaids. I mean seriously, when does that ever go well? Because all it does is then complicate the issue of making them happy all the more. And boy, do I get tired of hearing and phrase that starts with the word "Just". "Just" is someone's way of making things sound easy. As in "Just do it", "Just say no", etc., etc. Or my personal favorite: "That just doesn't make sense." Please, if the word "just" ever comes out of my mouth, slap me silly. I deserve it.
But I did come up with a third option that will set my girls apart, let them be individuals, make them identical for the ceremony and pictures and silence the mothers. Now, if I can only get the girls to go along with it. It's convertible dresses. I figure, they agree on one of fifty some styles for the ceremony and pictures, and when we duck away somewhere to bustle my train before entering the reception, they can reconfigure their dress into any style they want. That way they get to feel like they got to completely change dresses between ceremony and reception. It's a win-win...at least for me. I just hope the girls will see it that way too.
I ordered one of the dresses for myself to wear as a bridesmaid in Becca's wedding. They're supposed to be one size fits most, so I figure the girls can play with mine and see if they like it when we get together later this month. I'm crossing my fingers. I really need to start nailing down details and therefore nailing problems to the wall.