Easter Showers (411 Days to Go)

So yesterday was Easter.  And there were random showers throughout the day.  Luckily nothing quite like what they'd called for on the weather reports that I'd read.  Especially since my eldest niece was given the task of seeking out camouflaged eggs out of doors.  The rest of the children had it easy finding brightly colored eggs inside out of the rain.  The girls were all very excited and very pleased with everything they got for Easter.  Apparently the bunny had been very kind indeed to them.  Granted, the bunny had indicated to Jeff and I that a kite would be a good gift for Breanne and a "laptop" for Mackenzie would tickle the little girl.  Mackenzie is always trying to play with her pappy's laptop so we figured she'd want one of her own.  It's aimed at girls older than her and has educational aspects, but for now she's happy to just hit buttons and make stuff happen on the screen, whether or not she understands it.

If only those showers coming down from the sky would have been the only damper on the day for Jeff and I.  Unfortunately, we were also struck by the misfortune that the shower in our apartment now has a cracked floor which is causing an incredibly large amount of leaking into the shop below us.  In short, this means that we are without a shower and will be until we can buy an entirely new shower surround.  We went this weekend and looked at Home Depot and are considering buying a corner unit because it would make our teeny tiny bathroom feel a little more open and we would be able to install some shelving in order to create ourselves a place for our linens.  I'm extremely in favor of anything that will make our bathroom feel larger considering that since I've moved in, all of my makeup, hair accessories, and anything else cosmetic has been in a large Rubbermaid bin that has gone completely untouched because there's nowhere to put it.

We've also been coming to the conclusion lately that there is no way we'll ever be able to afford to move out of our apartment--for at least three years.  This has caused me incredible amounts of stress.  In the months that I've lived here, it's never really felt like home.  I've been living out of boxes to some degree and have never been able to establish an area to be a workspace for sewing, scrapbooking, or whatever.  And with the wedding coming up, this essentially translates into me having no place whatsoever for me to work on things such as putting together save-the-dates or invitations or favors.  So now we've decided that it's time to turn the attic upstairs into a liveable space.  Essentially right now it has holes in the floor and looks exactly as it did two days after it was burned out many years ago.  When Jeff and his parents fixed up the apartment, they'd never bothered really with the attic.  So now we have to tackle that as a project as well.  So we're basically going to end up investing a decent amount of money into remodeling our bathroom and attic just to make our place liveable for the sort-of short term instead of being able to save the money towards a down payment on a house.  Essentially we're in a Catch 22 situation.  A little amusing considering that Catch 22 is Jeff's favorite book.

It's been another one of those incredibly stressful weekends.  I keep hoping that something will give (aside from me) but it seems as though luck is not all that much in my favor.  Jeff keeps telling me to not feel so responsible for us, but it's hard not to when I know that I should be much better off career wise and I just can't seem to get there.  Everyone keeps telling me that it will all come in time, but I feel as though I'm not asking for too much to be able to afford to buy a house especially when I have a masters degree.  Instead, I have the debts belonging to that degree and the salary belonging to a lucky high school dropout.  I did get a job offer from that interview I had last week, but the offer is incredibly low.  I now have to wait until I can review the offer packet and see if I can somehow negotiate a better offer.  What makes it more stressful and frustrating though is that I can't really turn down the job either.  There aren't other jobs available and I can't stay where I'm at either.  Yet another one of those incredibly frustrating Catch 22s.

Drive-In Date Night (413 Days to Go)

So yesterday at work I got the idea that we should make the best of all this rain that we've been getting in Pittsburgh.  Despite the fact that I had not had time to track down the original Scream movies and have a marathon at home, I suggested that we go out to the Dependable Drive-In and see Scream 4 and what would turn into being a big mistake since it was followed by Insidious.  It's a long story but basically after seeing Paranormal Activity with Jeff, he decided to screw with me by pretending to be possessed in the same manner.

We even had an old
school cooler to use

Anyway, back to date night.  I packed up a picnic dinner into an old hand-me-down cooler, popped some popcorn, and filled the back of Jeff's truck with comforters, blankets and pillows.  My goal was to make the night feel like we were back in the 70s or 80s watching one of the classic horror films up there on the big screen.  We spent the night lying in the back of his truck, snacking our way through two thrillers and "enjoying" the extra ambiance of the pouring down rain.  It was the perfect cheap date night.  The only real cost was the admission to the drive-in which is only $6.50/person.  Cheaper than a regular movie admission, and almost as cheap as the Tuesday night prices--but we got to see two movies for that price.

It's tough when you're trying to keep a relationship lively but you're hindered by a tight budget.  But a little creativity and the ability to more or less swear off expensive restaurants can make it possible.   I've even been toying with the idea of geocaching.  But that would require time we don't exactly have right now.  However it sounds really interesting.

Guest List Problems Resolved? (414 Days to Go)

So Jeff and I came to an agreement on how to divide up the guest list.  I'm extremely grateful that he understood where I was coming from in that my mom and I needed to be guaranteed that we could invite a certain number at bare minimum.

It's amazing to me when I read all these posts and information provided on the internet and in books about how people traditionally split a guest list.  So many people go with 25/50/25 or 33/33/33--or should I say that they all seem to recommend that split.  I'm beginning to chalk those numbers up towards the top of my list for pretty bad wedding advice.

What I couldn't understand is why when Jeff and I are paying for the wedding was it assumed that the split should be made so unevenly?  I'm sure there are always exceptions, especially since these aren't rules, just guidelines.  But even when a family is relatively lopsided in size, there should be some give more so towards even than in the other direction.  In the end Jeff and I did go with our split of 20/45/35 in order to try and balance between the sizes of families but also to make sure that our own friends are invited as well.  I think once it was out of the heat of the moment, he realized that his friends were also being pushed off the guest list too.

So how does one come up with the right balance for the guest list?  There are limitations made by the venue.  So my first piece of advice to other brides-to-be would be to get the venue booked first.  And if you can't get enough peace from the in-laws jockeying for guest list dominance before the venue is booked, get an idea of how large a venue you're able to a) find and b) afford.  For Jeff and I, it looks like we'll find something around 200.  But based on location and budgets, this will vary quite a bit.  Next we looked at the numbers that each of our parents was giving us and the number of friends we wanted to invite.  Then we started to get realistic for our parents.  Sounds a little cruel, right?  Well, you have to be.  Sorry, in-laws! Jeff's parents were way over and my mom was slightly undershooting just to cover the "must haves".  I then came up with a split that would give his parents a slight majority to cover their larger family, gave my mom just enough to cover the must haves in our family, and trimmed Jeff and I as much as I dared considering our large number of bridesmaids and groomsmen.  In coming up with our split I made sure that everyone had enough for the "must haves" but that myself and Jeff's parents both had to start making some choices about who needed to get shifted to a "B-list".  The B-list is not the abyss of the guest list.  Essentially the plan is to send out invitations to the "A-list" or the "must haves" and set a RSVP reply date far in advance of the caterer's final count deadline.  Once some people begin to RSVP that they cannot make it is when you start sending out the invitations to the B-list.  Odds are very likely at least in my case that most if not all of the B-list (as long as it doesn't get any more out of control) will end up receiving an invitation.  However, this does make sure that Murphy's Law does not go into effect where I end up with fifty more guests at my wedding than I have food or seats for.

Granted, it'll be about 6-9 months before I know whether or not my crazy idea of establishing a rule will actually work to save my sanity.  In all likeliness it will result in me scrambling to make more invitations than I thought I needed and trying to find more supplies and time as it comes down to the wire.  But I'm hoping that at least in the meantime that it will end a lot of arguments over who deserves to control the guest list.  By creating a split, I wash my hands of everyone else's guest lists.  Essentially, I don't tell them who to invite, and they don't tell me who I can invite.  It's everyone's responsibility to prioritize their own lists and hand them over with updated mailing addresses to me by fall so that I can start to send out save the dates to the A-lists.  I've already made the sworn promise that going over on numbers will result in me whacking names from the list starting at the bottom.  For instance, if my mom gives me a list of 45 rather than 40, I drop the last five people no matter how awkwardly I split up the Yoder family.

Designing Your Own Coat of Arms (415 Days to Go)

Kate Middleton's
Coat of Arms Courtesy of
the College of Arms

Just in time for the wedding, Kate Middleton received a customized Coat of Arms in order for her to be properly heralded in as the new princess of England.  Heraldry is an ancient tradition in England, dating back to the 12th century as a means of identifying knights as they rode into either battle or tournaments.  Here in America, we're most likely to recognize a coat of arms from A Knight's Tale or the Tudors.  But that doesn't mean that we Americans don't have some roots in English or Celtic traditions.

I myself am 3/4 Irish, my fiance is 3/4 Scottish.  So after reading about Kate Middleton's new coat of arms, I was intrigued.

The coat of arms is passed down through the male descendants.  What this quickly informs me is that I do not possess a coat of arms and neither does Jeff since it is our father's side of the families that are of different heritages.  Essentially, my maiden name is passed down from a very distant English and his surname is from a very recent Italian heritage.  But, a coat of arms can be newly acquired for those of professional or educational standings that merit a coat.  Most of the more recently awarded coat of arms from the College of Arms were to professors.

But there are many Irish-Americans, Scotch-Americans and Brit-Americans out there who probably don't have the means to acquire a formal coat of arms like Kate Middleton.  But that doesn't mean that you couldn't design one that is meaningful to you and your future spouse to use as a way to share both heritage and your personalities at the wedding.

So, if you're going to make your own coat of arms for you and your future spouse, to be handed down to your male heirs, you'll first need to understand the anatomy of the coat of arms and crest.  The one pictured to the right is from the College of Arms and does a fantastic job of showing all the possible parts to be included.  As you can already tell, Kate Middleton's coat of arms is pretty simplistic by comparison.  This is partially due to the fact that she is a woman and thus she would have no helm or crest--just the blue ribbon mantling to represent that she is a single woman.

The crest is typically an animal of some kind and varies from birds and dogs to goats and unicorns.  There are pretty much no limitations on the possibilities for a crest.   

The actual coat of arms is the shield and this can take on any variety of different patterns.  There doesn't have to an animal on the shield, as you can see above on Kate Middleton's they use the acorn to represent the trees surrounding the family's home: the Oak.  They also make use of the chevron in order to create a bold swatch of color.  For Kate Middleton, this represents her mother's maiden name: Goldsmith.

The motto scroll typically bears either a short phrase or a set of words that are symbolic to the family.  Marrying a marine?  Consider "Semper Fi".  Perhaps you would want to use your alma mater's motto?  For me it would be "Spiritus Est Qui Vivificat".  Again, there is no right or wrong choice.

The supporters, like the crest, are typically animals, but do not have to be.  I have seen coats of arms that were born up by olive branches or varying trees.  It's all about choosing something that is significant to you.

So, if you're in the market to make your own coat of arms and crest, be creative and pick something meaningful to you and your love.  Don't forget to consider your families and their traditions.  But if you need some help, there are some websites that provide basic software for creating a coat of arms.

Ink Well Ideas

Make Your Coat of Arms

Just to give you an idea, I played around with one of the sites and came up with the coat of arms you see to your left.  I picked a Sea-Horse because Jeff is my fish out of water; the white roses for love and faith; the crescent because Jeff is a second child; the trefoil because of my Irish heritage; the snake for wisdom; and the blue and green background for loyalty, specifically in love.  To find out the meanings of other symbols, you should check out Fleur-de-lis Designs.

Allergies, blech (416 Days to Go)

Sorry I haven't posted in a few days. My allergies have gone completely haywire on me.  Add onto that a bucket of wedding related stress and you have a maelstrom better known as the common cold with a side of vengeance.

Beaver County Times

So I eventually found the photo that the photographer took while at the Penguins game Saturday night.  Surprisingly I'm not disappointed in how my hair looks.  Perhaps I should be photographed from behind more often.  The poster has been tucked away in our basement to be saved for another day. Granted, if the weather keeps up what it's been doing yesterday and today, I'm not sure we'll be going out to the game Saturday.  Or hiding Easter eggs for the nieces either.  But rain is a way of life in Pittsburgh.  You either get used to it or you go crazy.

Saturday, I taught my four students at Jo Ann's.  We finally found a time that worked for everyone's crazy schedule.  It was highly entertaining working with all of them.  But that's usually what you get from two sisters and their two daughters.  There was a lot of teasing flying around the table.

After both Jeff and I were done with work, we went to his parents' house for dinner.  And that's pretty much when and where the weekend started to meltdown for me.  I'm starting to reach a high level of frustration having to do with the wedding.  So it doesn't help that nearly every time we go to visit them, they want an update or to discuss the wedding in some form.  So, Jeff and I showed them the venues we plan to look at in early May.  Which then led to a discussion of the guest list since the venue will determine the max number of guests.  Jeff and I are trying to find some place that's decently large but finding a venue to hold more than 200 is frustrating and often expensive.  I did not cope well at all with Jeff and his father both joking around saying that we'll just send out 500 invitations and see what happens.  Top that off with Jeff's mom insisting that there are a minimum of 150 people from their family (not including any family friends) who just have to be invited.  No matter how much I told them it had to be prioritized and brought down, I kept being told that I was wrong that people wouldn't come and I should relax.  I did the opposite.  I started to cry.  Yep.  I started to bawl like a baby right at the dining room table and ran away.

I still don't think Jeff quite understands how much stress I'm under.  I'm constantly being told to just do it myself, and yet, I'm also constantly told that my best isn't right or good enough.  That and I don't like the idea of someone telling me (repeatedly) that Jeff's family is more important as far as getting invited than my family or friends.  Just because his family is larger, doesn't make it more important.  It just means they need to prioritize a little more and I'm sure that they'll understand that we have both budget and seating constraints.  But I can't start cutting my portion of the guest list back down to just my mom and grandma.  Heck, just to invite our bridesmaids, groomsmen and their dates will be 24 guests.

So yesterday, I made a proposal to Jeff about setting the division of guests into stone.  My initial proposal being if there are hypothetically 200 seats available, his parents get 70, my mom gets 40, he and I split the remaining 90.  This means that he and I each get 45.  From our 45 gets subtracted 12 each for our respective members of the bridal party and their guests.  That means we each only have 33 guests to choose ourselves.  So, if the parents have too many guests, they go to their respective child and ask to use some of our remaining 33 spaces.  If we use them, too bad, so sad.  Re-prioritize and give me a B-list for when we start getting some "no"s back on the RSVPs.  

I feel like this is the only way to be fair.  That way my mom has a fair chance of getting to invite family and friends and so do I without having to feel pressured.  Although, right now, bullied feels like a more appropriate term whether or not that's Jeff's parents intention.  I'm fairly certain that it isn't their intention to bully me, but I'm under way too much stress right now to feel differently.  I mean, at one point my FMIL actually told me that my friends from work didn't matter because as soon as I got a new job they wouldn't care about me anymore.  Um, didn't I just spend Friday night hanging out with one of them?  Yeah...  Didn't one of them convince me to get on Match to meet Jeff?  Yeah...  My friends from work are my friends. Period.  Just as my friends from college are my friends.  They've been there fore me quite often more so than my own family.  Like hell they don't get invited.

Am I slightly crazy for trying to get the numbers broken down over a year in advance and set into stone?  Perhaps.  But I'd like to think that if Jeff and I agree on a rule, that it will end a lot of these stress inducing conversations about who deserves to be at Jeff and I's wedding.  Because in all seriousness, I'm ready to call the whole thing off if things don't start to get better soon.  No I don't mean leaving Jeff.  No I don't mean getting eloped.  

Speaking of which, I'd be one dead girl if I eloped.  My eldest cousin did that and she was nearly murdered and she's the "perfect one".  Being the youngest, I have no excuse of "I didn't know it was taboo" because I have very clearly gotten the imagery of me with knives impaling my chest if I elope or have a destination wedding in which my family would not be able to attend.  I'm pretty sure that it wouldn't be a better picture if I have the wedding nearby and still don't invite my family simply because there "isn't room" after Jeff's family fills the guest list.  I just don't think that's going to cut it with them.

But anyway, I'm about ready to settle in for a lifetime engagement if this is what wedding planning is going to be cracked up to be for the next 416 days.  Already my immune system has thrown in the towel.  What more do they want from me?

Last Night at the Pens Game (420 Days to Go)

The Bingo Game's Ready to Go!

So last night, Jeff and I went watch Mario's Big Screen outside the Igloo.  One of my coworkers and I went down early and saved a section of blacktop to use for our poster making and also for a small group of our chairs.  Kiss was giving away tickets for the best poster, so my coworker and I decided to enter.  Well, unfortunately, the contest started only mere minutes after we got there so, we couldn't enter.  However, we finished up and polished one of the posters in order to take it with us for the game next Saturday.  I'm kind of glad I kept working on it too because a reporter from the Beaver County Times came over and was taking pictures of my coworker and I as we finished it up.  So, we might end up making the paper tomorrow morning.  But the odds don't look that good since the Pens did lose.  That was probably the only downer for last night.

Jeff was able to make it with plenty of time and even helped me walk down to Milano's and pick up pizza and drinks for the group.  He's even showing a little more mobility in his wrist.  We were even able to grab a couple of white out towels that we getting passed around and enjoyed ourselves so much that we decided we needed to come back for any weekend games that we could.  So, since we're now guaranteed a game 5 on Saturday night, we'll be headed out to go see that on Mario's Big Screen, too.  We're even going to see if we can manage to get a couch to take next time.

After the game though we decided to see if we could find out where the players did signings on the way out of the arena.  Let's put it this way, we found where the players do exit the arena, however it is not accessible to the public at all.  In short, the Penguins no longer sign any autographs after games.  We were no so kindly escorted out of that area after some astonished security guard found us and asked how we got there.  Apparently she did not appreciate my blunt but accurate response of "we walked."  Perhaps she thought that we'd propelled down with climbing gear, I don't know.

 

It's Friday, Friday! (421 Days to Go)

Just in case you haven't heard, It's Friday!  I am in no way a fan of Rebecca Black, but if I have to be subjected to it on every local radio station as I drive to work, I figure you might as well get a small dose too.

So, wish me luck as I have my job interview this morning.  Hopefully it goes well.

But just in case I need cheering up later, Jeff and I are going to be in the Mellon Arena lot watching game 2 of the Penguins playoffs on the jumbotron.  We'll be the crazy couple screaming the loudest (I'll be making up for whatever volume Jeff is lacking much like I did when we went to a game in person last year).  I'll also be going with one of the girls from work and the two of us will be hanging out saving our "turf" until her friend and Jeff can join us after they get done with their respective jobs.  And after Wednesday night's nail biter (at least the first two periods), it should make for a great game tonight.

I've been keeping myself busy.  The past two nights were spent studying up and getting ready for the interview today.  I attempted to make Jeff fulfill his promise to be my personal wedding assistant by sending e-mails to venues requesting an appointment for May 1st.  He lucked out on Wednesday night because our internet connection was on the fritz.

Aside from that, work has been keeping me for crazy hours.  Wednesday night I didn't even get to leave until 7 o'clock.  I guess that more than makes up for the extra hour I took at lunch to deal with the bank, but it certainly makes for an incredibly long day.  And after that, I'd had to meet Jeff for the Steel City Dive Club's meeting at Eat n' Park.  That turned into the most relaxing hour I'd had the entire day.

Oh, and I've decided to open a shop on Cafe Press.  I was inspired by one of the auxillary members for the fire department who wore a t-shirt that had the drink name on the front and had the recipe on the back.  It was a little "Plain Jane" (aka, non-amusing cocktail name) and the recipe was for a drink I'd never heard of nor could imagine ever ordering but it did start my wheels turning.  There are so many crazily named drinks out there that taste great, and yet, anytime I go to a bar and try to order one, the bartender looks at me like I'm nuts.  Thus, the start of Mixers R' Us.  I even have a design for the "Blushing Bride".  I'm slowly adding new pieces of inventory and different designs.  Are there any drinks that you can think of that would be fun?