Jet-Lagged from Cali (354 Days to Go)

So the past two weeks have been crazy busy.  First my bridesmaid and college friend, Kim, came in from out of town.  She also brought with her news: she's finally picked a state for her wedding and a date: New Jersey and May 5th.  So, we're basically getting married a month apart.  It made me realize that in a nine month span, I will be in three weddings (one of which will be my own), and attending at the very minimum at least one more.  Every one of these four weddings is being held in a different state.  So, talk about your travel costs.  It'll certainly be an exciting year, that's for certain.

Layover in Phoenix, AZ at sunset

Then, this past weekend, Jeff and I were in California, the San Francisco Bay area for a working vacation.  We were invited by one of the manufacturers for scuba equipment to come out for seminars and workshops that would help to orient us better with all of their product lines but also get a behind the scenes look at the production plant and also upcoming products.  It was fantastic to get out of town, just the two of us, even if it was a semi-working vacation.  Granted, the company is probably regretting the fact that they covered every single bar tab the entire weekend.  I think Jeff and I only paid for food while we were in the airports.  I can tell you one thing about the group of people that we were with, we liked margaritas--a lot.


It was great though.  The other shop owners were all fantastic people.  Even though we were the youngest, we weren't outcast or looked down on at all.  In fact, we were pretty well respected in the discussions.  I was usually the bold one who'd try on the new equipment.  Trying on a new pair of fins is a lot like shopping for shoes.  Comfort, style/functionality, and color are the trifecta.  This pair of fins had everything and it was only the prototype.  I begged Jeff to get the next prototype on loan for our honeymoon.

Oceanic Factory Floor: Sewing Dept.

Long story short, our honeymoon will be in Puerto Rico and thus warm water.  My gear is set up for cold water dives.  So I have a pair of open heel fins that need ankle high boots to be worn.  But in warm water, a full foot fin that doesn't need any socks or boots is preferrable.  Lets face it ladies, it's like going to the beach wearing cowboy boots if I went with the gear I already have.  The prototype fin actually diminishes the need for having two different foot pockets on fins which would be awesome!  That and the fin itself looks very cool and sylish.  I wish I could say more, but I can't and I most certainly couldn't take pictures.

Enjoying some aged Port

While we were out there, we got to go to a wine tasting at Bent Creek winery.  It's actually a brand that's carried in the Pennsylvania state liquor stores, which surprised me a little bit when I found out where we were going.  The wine was amazing.  Especially when you start realizing that some of the wines had a relatively high percent of alcohol.  One of the other shop owners joked that we were essentially all sitting around doing shots--after swirling, sniffing, and observing the color carefully.

Bent Creek Winery

After the tasting, Jeff and I walked through some of the vineyard on our own taking in all of the terracota rooftops and European architecture in that valley.  Not to mention the gorgeous classic cars.  Because the weather is so moderate and relatively dry, classic cars keep in pristine conditions out there.  It seemed like everyone had driven up to the winery in their classic model convertible.

One of the winery's work trucks.  Yes, work truck.

Granted, some people make some major modifications to their classics.

Everett & Jones B-B-Q

Our last night there we went to a bar-b-que joint in Oakland, Everett & Jones.  It was really good food--authentic Southern food.  The shop owners from Georgia, Florida, and Louisiana all agreed.  To top off the evening, there was a live blues band that started to perform too.  So while we enjoyed our pecan pies for dessert after conquering huge stacks of ribs, we got to listen to some blues and take stock in some outrageous pimp suits that were in attendance.  The singer, was quite a character and was having a good time flirting it up with all of the women in our group.  Especially since one of them was from Louisiana and really getting into the music.

Just check out that red
pimp suit in the background!

It was a good trip.  We got on each other's nerves a little with traveling.  I'm a stickler for getting to the airport early while he's very "eh, it'll work out."  Also found out he's pretty claustrophobic when flying too.  It was a good experience for us as a couple.  It now makes more sense to me as to why he insists on driving 2,000 miles round trip to go to his cousin's wedding in Oklahoma.  I just wish that he weren't so road-ragey.  But apparently driving that far is less stressful than airports to him.

Pinterest Inspiring Photography (360 Days to Go)

I don't know where the time is going.  Seriously, if you know, let me know.  I blinked and a week has gone by just like that. 

But in the meantime, it's official.  I'm addicted.  There's a website called Pinterest which is still in its beta testing mode and therefore you have to ask to be invited.  Granted, that takes like maybe an hour tops.  But you sign in using your facebook or twitter account and set up "boards" in which to "pin" pictures to.  And you can pin them from anywhere.  It's fantastic.  No longer are you limited to what the knot has available to you when you make your inspiration board.  You can pool together images from The Knot, Get Married, Google Image searches, Amazon, wherever you found it during your random searches.  And because it works from a button on your favorites toolbar, you don't have to keep the site up at all times and it doesn't pull you out of your current browsing experience.  And your inspiration board can be of limitless size. 

I've probably wasted a good number of hours (spread out in five minute intervals over the past week) gathering together all of the random ideas I've had onto some of these boards.  Granted, I've been focusing most on engagement photos so that I have some idea of what I want for my own engagement photo session in a week and a half.  Eep!  I'm a bit nervous about it.

But I'm starting to get myself together about it.  Last night I made a trip to the craft store and picked up supplies to make a few props.  Chalkboard paint is by far one of the coolest inventions ever.  I picked up some and a cute, rustic looking frame and went to work last night.  Currently, the glass is drying and waiting for its final coat.  Depending on how it turns out will determine whether or not I go chalkboard paint crazy for the wedding.  I also picked up a silk flower and feathers to make myself a hair pin to match the dress I'm going to be wearing so, that's one outfit I consider planned out.  The other outfit is still a little bit up in the air but I'm fairly certain I know what I'm doing with that one too. 

We were out shopping this weekend to get Jeff a summer suit since he roasted Saturday night at the wedding we'd attended.  During a trip, I found a cute fedora so I can be in sync with my fedora lovin' man.  But also on that trip, we found a white button down shirt for him that's pretty casual so I think we're going to do that for some of the pictures.  Especially since I want to spend some time playing in the playground which is one of those super brightly colored plastic sets.

So it's looking like we'll have some playful engagement photos as well as some more vintage, classy style ones as well.  Now, I just have to cross my fingers for beautiful weather so we don't have to cancel.

The Pre-versary (366 Days to Go)

I can't believe that tomorrow will be what Jeff has now dubbed our "Pre-versary": exactly one year before we say our "I do"s.  Yikes!  My blog title will officially be true as of midnight tonight.

Trust me, it's not wedding jitters or cold feet that make me slightly anxious about hitting the one year to go marker.  It's the fact that I feel like there are a billion small details to organize in that time.  And now I'm going to be not just a bridesmaid for my friend Becca this coming December, but a co-MOH for my BFF Sara in her Fall 2012 wedding, a mere three months after my own.  For someone who never played a bigger role in a wedding than guest, I certainly have a lot to do and learn over the next year (+3 months) in order to pull of my first "wedding season" without too many [more] fiascos.

We are celebrating our pre-versary--sort of.  We're acknowledging it to start with.  It won't be a big date night or anything like that.  We had one last night anyway.  (X-Men: First Class was amazing by the way and if you're a history buff, action fan, or comic book fan you have to go see it.)  Actually, one of my bridesmaids, Kim is going to be in town so we're going to have dinner out to catch up.  She too is also planning a wedding that is in theory within a few weeks of mine.  Add another yikes to the coming year of weddings.

I'm at a loss for a proper segue, partly due to taking some time off from writing, but on our way back from Memorial Day weekend, my FMIL's car broke down.  She had all of our bikes hooked up to her hitch and so, on the towed ride back, my bike which happend to be the backmost one, got crunched to say the least.  Nobody told me about it until two days later.

Now, while we'd been on the trip, Jeff and I talked about how it would be fun to conquer the Montour Trail/Great Allegheny Passage/C&O Canal Towpath since it starts in our little town and goes all the way to D.C.  We acknowledged we'd need a ton of camping gear, but hey, isn't that part of why we want to register at REI?  However, in addition to needing gear, trailers, etc. for the trip, I'd also need a bike that wouldn't freak out when it had to run over old train tracks instead of pavement.

So, the way that I found out that my old bike got twisted like a modern art project is that I came home from work and found a new bike sitting in the scuba shop's back room.  Since we'd set the projected date for our 300+ mile bike ride for a little over a year from our wedding date, he figured I needed the trail bike sooner rather than later.  It was my pre-versary present from him.

So since then, I've been racking my brain as to what to get him for a gift.  Since I'm so far covering most of the expense of the wedding out of pocket, I don't have as much money on hand.  I was actually a teensy bit irked he spent so much on me but was also appreciative of the thought to replace my bike now so that we could ride together this summer.  However, I finally came up with the perfect idea.  Sorry for the teaser, but just in case, I don't want to say too much here and now.

Luckily though, considering that tomorrow marks the official start of my last 365 Days as Ms., I have a lot done.  I'm grateful.  I've got my caterer, my venue, my photographer and most importantly, my fantastic fiance.  I love you, babe.

Ending the Reprieve (368 Days to Go)

It feels like it's been forever since I've blogged.  Oh, wait, it kind of has been.

Essentially I more or less had to completely remove myself from anything and everything wedding related for a little while or else I was going to turn Bride-zilla and never come back from the edge.

We finally found our venue, so I'm pretty ecstatic about that.  We're going to be having an outdoor ceremony lakeside at Penn Scenic View and then moving the reception indoors.  It even has a large balcony area overlooking the lake for cocktail hour.  Going to see the venue had been an experience all on it's own.  But that's what happens when you have three additional opinions and inane questions being asked.  Add to that major sleep deprivation and you have a cocktail so sour no one wants to take a sip.

To add to the hectic vibe of the day, I got a phone call two days earlier that my wedding dress had arrived more than four months earlier than expected.  I made arrangements to get to the shop just before closing the same day that we were looking at our wedding venue in order to try and save on gas.  Remember, three weeks ago, gas was at it's highest price ever.

Now since my fiance was going along to see the venue, we had to drive separately so that he could leave at that point of the day to go teach his class that also happened to be nearby.  But that still left me with two mothers and an 11-year-old niece in tow.  The moment we walked in the door, our niece started to whine about wanting to try on her bridesmaid dress.  When I explained that it hadn't been chosen yet, she insisted that she would choose.  I told her no.  Of course the two mothers insisted we might as well check some out.  Insert enormous eye roll here for getting unwanted opinions on something that doesn't directly pertain to these people.

I then listened to both mothers lecture on how bridesmaids have to be matchy-matchy and that it wouldn't be appropriate for half of my bridesmaids to wear their dresses with straps and the rest not to.  It didn't seem to matter to them that the bridesmaids (who like me) can't wear straps because of sloped shoulders would be a distraction every five minutes by adjusting their straps.  Or better yet, the busty ones forced to forego straps would be popping out mid ceremony.  I pretty much lost my cool and told them they both needed to shut up because it wasn't their decision and that bridesmaids dresses had moved on since either of them had last been married.  See the bride-zilla wanting to come out and snap?

Finally, my consultant was free to bring out my dress.  It was a perfect fit.  And I mean perfect.  My grandmother will only have to hem it by one inch and bustle it.  Talk about easy-peasy.  However, by the time I got my dress, my niece had been whining sufficiently long enough to convince my mother to go pick out some dresses for her.  Now keep in mind, she's eleven and just starting to wear juniors clothes and is approximately a size 5.  I am a size 10 and had to order a size 16 which turned out to be a perfect fit.

She tries on one dress and it doesn't quite zip up and she starts bawling about how fat she is.  And I mean bawling.  This kid has officially stolen the title of bride-zilla and she's only the junior bridesmaid.  I am now standing in my wedding dress and fielding glares from every other customer in the store.  And nothing can get her to stop crying!  She literally has a psychological problem in which she's convinced herself that she is so overweight to the point where she works out more than Richard Simmons.

When she finally does stop crying, she has adamantly decided that there is a dress she wants to wear for my wedding because it is literally a hot pink short skirted version of mine.  I glare at my mother for even pulling the dress off the rack and put my foot down.  Absolutely not.  First off because it's nearly three hundred dollars and I will not ask that of my bridesmaids.  Secondly, I am not going to have my bridesmaids look like me on my day.  Call me selfish, but I want to be a little unique aside from the fact that I'm the only one wearing white.  I certainly don't want my dress to be less awe inspiring just because the guests have already seen seven different colored versions of it walk down the aisle before me.  This puts her into another burst of tears.  And for once, I can't wait to get out of my wedding gown and out of the store.  I'm tired of getting glares that accuse me of being an evil wench just because my niece is psychotic and spoiled.

That day, Jeff and I also clarified with our mothers how the guest list would be split.  My mother was perfectly okay with the split.  His parents were very much not okay.  They felt as if we were shorting them.  Que extended pain and suffering due to guest list limitations for quite a while longer.  Eventually I learned that this stemmed from her feeling as though we'd be shorting ourselves on the available guest list for the bridal shower.  Insert large eyeroll here for a bunch of useless kitchen gadgets that would be triplicated with a bridal shower.  Jeff and I already have too many rolling pins and wooden spoons, thank you very much.

I spent the next week on the phone with everyone.  The venue manager (in order to obtain contracts for every cabin/lodge on the property), the caterer to finalize the date and location, the event planner, etc.  I signed away nearly every penny to my name in order to put down deposits and spread the joyful news to my bridesmaids and groomsmen that their lodging for the weekend would be all expenses paid.  I then put away everything wedding related and vowed to not give it a second thought for at least a few weeks.

Memorial Day weekend reopened a few of the wounds however.  Mostly due to the 11-year-old niece who spent a great deal of time again whining about her weight.  Combine that with the fact that she's missed her period for a couple of months and you have me greatly agitated that she won't listen when you tell her that she's working out too much and is now getting to be too thin.  Pretty soon, I'll be kidnapping her to put her in the hospital for eating disorder treatment.  But she was also complaining about how I'm not going to be including her in going to choose the bridesmaids dresses in a few months (in about August probably).  I explained as nicely as I could that I needed the time to be for big girls and that I could not be baby-sitting her.  I needed the freedom to be able to go out for dinner with my girlfriends who would be coming in from out of town and not feel like I have to say no because she can't go barhopping afterwards.  Also, she has too expensive of taste.  Top that off with eventually if she doesn't become anorexic, she'll outgrow her dress whereas the other girls will have their dressing hanging in their closets for a few years to come.  She doesn't seem to quite grasp that dresses cost money that the rest of us work hard for.  She merely sees it as grandma will be paying for it, so who cares about what those little numbers are following that weird "S" shaped symbol.

Once I finally got the wedding to be off topic for the weekend while we were camping, I still had to deal with her obsessive behavior on her weight.  And the multiple attempts on her 2-year-old sister's life due to stupidity.  And every time that you yell at the older girl to stop doing something, she turns it into, "Why do you hate me?!" and goes running off.  Personally, I don't think it's smart for a girl who can't tread water to be standing on the slick steps to a 30-foot quarry with her baby sister.  To complete that mental image, my fiance who uses those stairs almost as much as he does the ones we have at home, fell on them twice and neither girl had on a life jacket.  I about died when I saw them down there by themselves.  And when she ran off all upset that I hated her, she then tried to lie to her grandfather about why her baby sister was soaked up to her waist.  Adorable 2-year-old of course is telling her pappy all about standing in the water with the fishies.

I officially no longer want children.  For gosh sakes, they don't even wait to be teenagers anymore before they become pathological liars with eating disorders.  What the heck?!

Now you can understand why I haven't been writing for a while.  There's nothing like spending your time ranting on a kid.  I feel bad, but I don't know how to get through to her and it does nothing but stress me out to be around her all the time.  Jeff is actually the one who's dubbed her bride-zilla.  And when I really need some time away to get my head together and collected and calm, it really doesn't help when this girl insists on attaching herself to me all the time.  I appreciate that she wants to spend time with me, but I can't be her mother, especially when her mom wants to be her mom.  And I definitely cannot keep sacrificing time with my fiance in order to play happy family with her, especially if she's going to have more mood swings than I can manage in a month in the course of one evening.

Preparing to Go See More Venues (396 Days to Go)

So this weekend Jeff and I are going back out to the Laurel Highlands/Westmoreland County area in order to view two more venues.  This time we're going to go look at Scenic View (which has a lake and a relatively nice looking lodge) and we're actually hoping to get inside of the Falling Water venue this time instead of just peeking in through the windows and cracks.

However this time we'll be going with my FMIL and 11-year-old niece in tow.  This worries me.  They sort of invited themselves along on Mother's Day and both Jeff and I didn't have the heart to refuse.  I mean there's really no fantastic reason as to why we should refuse.  Is there?  Now I'm slightly worried that the nearly constant poo-poohing that's been going on will taint Jeff and I's initial feelings about one or another venue.  The other problem is that my FMIL has not seen the winery/resort that Jeff and I did and even if I drive her up to the location she will not get the full tour.  Therefore she might start to tell us that we should pick one location over another without having as much information as we do.  This is a point of concern for me.  Especially now when I found out that she's been to see two venues without either Jeff or I going with her.  Luckily she came to the conclusion on her own that they will not be suitable.  Still, isn't this a decision for Jeff and I to make?

It also brings up another problem.  My mother was not invited to go.  And I have now spent the last two days trying to get a hold of her to take care of this possible situation.  If I don't invite her, it will eventually come to her attention that my FMIL did go along without my mother also being given the opportunity.  Of course this will result in all kinds of hurt feelings and awkwardness.  So, therefore I'm trying to avoid that.  There is the chance that she'll understand that I'm stuck with the extra carpool guests and not come, however, if I do invite her, she may come along and be yet one more unwanted opinion. 

Yes, I'm already preparing myself for the very real possibility that my FMIL's opinion after this weekend will be unwanted.  Not because she will necessarily be wrong or without good taste, but just not fully informed or concerned with the same aspects that Jeff and I are.  Her goals for the venue are merely the number of chairs, air conditioning and bathrooms.  Each are very important, yes, but they are not the sole goals that Jeff and I seek.  At least we both semi agree on the all important dollar.  Well almost, I'm the biggest cheapskate of the bunch which is why we're looking all the way out where we are. 

I hate to say that in some ways my mother might actually be closer to being on my side for once.  I think for the most part though lately she's trying to sit on the fence so as to not offend anyone, but if she's forced to choose, she has been picking my side.  This is kind of a first for her and I.  Mom has been better about listening to me and accepting that there are certain things that are important to me, such as the scenery, the vibe, etc. of a place.  These are things that account for naught with my FILs.  They are very much in favor of a very utilitarian wedding.  Boo.  This is my one and only wedding and I want it to be special and I'm determined not to make my wedding to Jeff feel like a dress rehearsal for something else.  This is what happens when you're the daughter of someone who's been remarried as often as my mother.

I must sound terrible.  I sound terrible to me just reading this.  It's just that I'm really getting my heart set on something and it's important to me that people stop poo-poohing everything.  It's my wedding, gosh darn it, and most importantly it's my money and future debt.  It doesn't thrill me that everyone else wants their opinion counted twice while mine gets ignored or worse yet, trampled on.  I understand that no one is expecting a fancy, frilly wedding.  But did anyone consider that it's what I want?  I want for my wedding to be memorable.  I don't want my wedding to blend in with everyone else's that we know.  So what if they all had their receptions in some white-walled reception hall?  I want mine to have a connection with nature.  So what if every other wedding you've gone to served crappy, tiny slices of cake.  I don't plan to.  Does that mean I shouldn't bother tasting cakes at all before I order it?  I'd like to make sure that when it's smashed into my face it won't chip a tooth.  And I definitely want to make sure that there isn't an image immortalizing the moment that I gag and spit up some nasty flavored cake.  And just because you lack imagination and deem my idea of holding the wedding reception in a barn to be equivalent to your brother-in-law's body shop garage, doesn't actually make that true.  Oh yes, we have been down that road in the venue discussion.  So, poo-poohing has been a popular issue for me.  Is it too much to ask that the poo-poohing wait until after I've formed my opinion?  I'd like to have a decent head start on being able to defend myself.

First Day at the New Job (397 Days to Go)

I survived my first day at my new job.  I didn't even have trouble getting to be on friendly terms with my new coworkers.  It was a little dull, but most first days usually are because it's all training and reading.  The work itself though doesn't sound like it'll be too overwhelming, which is good.  One can only hope they don't bite off more than they can chew.  But it will be a slight challenge since I'm completely changing the field of science that I'll be working in (biochemistry to analytical chemistry).

The biggest challenge is going to be restructuring my schedule.  I'll be working 6:30 am to 3 pm now instead of roughly 9 to 5 (which was nothing like I actually worked anyway).  I have a feeling it'll be tough for the first few weeks, but I'll end up really liking it because I'll have some free time to get stuff done in the afternoons after I get off work.  Which in the long run will be helpful when it comes to the wedding.  The worst part is that Jeff will keep working late and therefore I'll barely be up much longer after he gets done for the night.

What's funny is that Jeff tried to send me flowers for my last day of work.  Of course, the florist screwed up.  I found out from one of my old coworkers that apparently they did deliver them on my last day--to the first empty desk they could find on the wrong floor.  This happened to be an administrator's desk (and they typically take most of Friday off) and so on Monday morning she found them and delivered them to the address given on the flowers which led right to my old desk.   So, my old coworkers contacted me by phone and Facebook to let me know that I had a gorgeous flower arrangement waiting for me.  Luckily because my new job gets done at 3 pm so I was able to drive back up to the hospital and get let back in.  So I was also able to pick up the items that I'd forgotten on Friday.

So despite the fact that I went back to visit after not even being gone a full day, I don't miss it.  Not a bit.  I was in fact reminded how much I don't miss it when my old supervisor appeared out of thin air and started asking me a bunch of questions about this, that, and the other thing as if I still worked for him.  No, they weren't conversational things at all.  It was, what happened to this order you placed? And I didn't realize you were coming back (not at all joking).  I couldn't get back out of there fast enough.

Last Day at Work (399 Days to Go)

Yesterday seemed like a pretty big milestone in my life.  Not only was it the rollover point of 400 days left before the wedding, but it was also my last day at my old job.  It had a surreal feeling to it all day.  I went in and worked on the same things that I've been working on for the past two weeks--catching up on paperwork.  I took inventory and transferred files and put in a full day's work despite putting in overtime all week long.

So despite the fact that everyone was teasing me about working too hard on my last day and that they took me out to lunch, it never hit me, not even when I was exchanging hugs goodbye for the last two hours.  Even after I went to pick up my car so I could come back and collect my things, I didn't seem to come to a realization that I wouldn't be coming back.  Which really stinks because I was halfway home and locked out  of the hospital's research building when I realized that left behind two pairs of shoes.

I have to admit I'm going to seriously miss the girls I work with.  They are absolutely fantastic.  No one could ever ask for a more supportive group of people to spend five days a week with.  That's why I know it's going to feel weird on Monday morning when I go to my new job for the first time.  I can only hope for that my future coworkers are half as great.  If they are, then I'll be doing pretty good for myself.